Who Cares What They Think?

For some unknown reason, when you’re up the duff and become a mother, every bugger and his wife feel like they have the right to comment and judge how you do things.

Literally from pregnancy when people do that awful thing and put their actual hands on your tummy. WTF? It only happened to me on one occasion and I was absolutely seething. I should have given his beer belly a little pat and see how he liked it, the dick.

Then once you’ve given birth to your precious little angel, you’ve got it all to come.

Is he good? Course he’s good, he’s not drawing on my walls at ten days old is he. How can a newborn who doesn’t even know they exist in the world be bad?

You should be leaving him to cry. You’ll spoil him. He’s manipulating you. You’ll make a rod for your own back. He should be sleeping through by now. I’m chuffed to bits with that rod I’ve made, thanks. He’s a baby, and a very happy, secure one at that. They’re not supposed to sleep through. I still wake up in the night for a drink or a wee and I’m 25.

Are you still breastfeeding? He doesn’t still get any goodness from that. You’ll make him clingy. You’re doing it for you. I have a lot of support when it comes to breastfeeding but I know some mums aren’t so lucky, I could write a book on insults I’ve heard thrown around but you get the jist. And trust me, when I have to contort my body like a pretzel around him in bed because only milky will settle him, that’s really not for me.

Don’t let him sleep in bed with you, he’ll still be in there when he’s 10. I’m pretty sure he won’t but if he is, so what? He wants to be close, he wants affection. Don’t we all?

Why don’t you cut his hair? People will mistake him for a girl. M gets mistaken for a girl all the time and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. We adore his gorgeous long hair, why would we cut it just so a stranger in Wilkos knows what he’s got between his legs?

And it feels as though you just cannot win sometimes. If you go back to work someone else is raising your kids for you, if you’re a stay at home mum you’ve got it easy. People want to know why you’ve only got the one or why you’ve got five kids.

Never in a million years would you stop someone in the street and tell them their hair is too long, or touch their body, or ask them how well they sleep at night. It’s weird and intrusive so why do people feel they can comment on your life just because you have child?

I’m not suggesting whatsoever that I don’t appreciate all the help and advice I’ve received over the past three years, help and advice that is asked for and not an excuse to have a little dig.

I appreciate some have good intentions and I’m very grateful, especially as a first time mum. But I cannot stress enough how a lot of ‘advice’ needs to go straight over your head. Do what you think is best for your self and your family and f what they think 😉

What’s the best/worst advice you received as a new mum?

Imogen x

 

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